The Things They'll Do For Love
by EastSideIndie
Summary: Mal's life is at stake and Inara must make a decision.


DISCLAIMER: Joss is Boss!

This story takes place after the episode 'Shindig'. In order to save Mal's life, Inara must make a choice.

* * *

"It is for the pirate's well being, Inara."

Atherton's words were reaching her ears but they weren't making any sense. The weightiness of the situation was overwhelming. If what he was telling her was true, than Mal was in danger- more danger than he had ever been in before.

"B-but…How could you? How can you be certain that-?"

"I know _baobei_."

Inara shook her head, trying to rid herself of those words being said to her by _him_. It just didn't make sense; but then again, it made all the sense in the world.

"I have always been a proud man, Inara. I do not take kindly to being made the fool. And your Captain Reynolds has his fair share of enemies. It wasn't hard to find one who agreed to help me."

"But how did they get to him? How did they- ?"

"Badger," the answer was simple enough, but it didn't add up.

"No, Badger may be stupid and foul and a number of other unpleasant things, but he and Mal have always been on decent…business terms. Why would he poison Mal?"

"He didn't, he didn't even know," Atherton chuckled, enjoying that he had the upper hand. "He and the captain drank from the same bottle. They've both been poisoned. The only difference is that your pirate has a chance to be saved."

"And Badger?" Inara asked, a sort of disconnected dread settling over her.

"Dead, killed in an Alliance Raid."

She nodded. Atherton would not boast about his triumph openly, but a tip to the Alliance as to Badger's whereabouts and his illegal dealings was a good way to get the message out to her. Not only was he saying that he had control over the situation, but that now the deaths- or possible deaths- of Mal and his regular business partner could not be connected.

"What must I do?"

* * *

Mal's innards were trying to eat each other, he knew they were. How else could he explain the pain he was in? Unfortunately he was too busy shaking and moaning that he couldn't voice this to the Doc who was running those gorram tests again. They hadn't told him anything the last five times he'd run them, they weren't about to now!

It had been like this since they had hit atmo' when leaving Persephone. He had all together collapsed on the bridge and had woken up in Serenity's own infirmary. The Doc had tried everything he could but nothing was working. He couldn't figure it out, and Mal was getting progressively worse.

Inara had been keeping him company. He hadn't seen her today, but she hadn't left his side prior to an apparent Wave over the cortex. He closed his eyes and smiled at the memory of the night not one week ago. They had been bickering about one thing or another in her shuttle when he had swallowed his pride and kissed her. He didn't know why- maybe it was to shut her up, or maybe because her eyes had had that dangerous flare in them and her hair had fallen just so. Maybe it was the fact that her cheeks had been flushed with anger, or that she had been standing so close. Either way, she had kissed him back.

In that moment he knew there was no longer any pretence between them. Before long she was pulling off his suspenders and unbuttoning his shirt, and he was running his fingers through her silky tendrils of hair. He had woken up later to find her watching him from the deep red couch. He had wondered whether or not she had always smelled of…was that pomegranates? He had grinned, of course she had. The next few nights followed in quite the same routine.

Mal's thoughts were interrupted.

"Sir?"

"Zoë?" he didn't care what news she had, his First Mate had just interrupted his daydreaming.

"We're headed back to Persephone sir," Zoë replied. "Inara got a call from a previous client who needs some smuggling done. They must have gotten the impression from our previous visits that our business is of the…less than honourable variety."

Ignoring the stab of jealousy (and the stab of abdominal pain to boot), Mal groaned, "_Now_?"

"They're med supplies sir, might be something there that could come in handy. The Doc's running low on supplies himself and you're looking a might peaky. Could be that there's something for you in there."

He noted the concern, though cleverly masked as it was, in her voice.

"Won't this 'previous client's' buyers be wondering why part of what's theirs is missing?"

"Inara worked it out sir," Zoë said moving to leave. "The meds we take are our payment."

"It couldn't hurt to get some new drugs," Simon pointed out. "I've hardly got anything left…"

* * *

Zoë didn't much like the idea of Inara going to collect the goods on her own, but the Companion assured her that the man with whom they were dealing with did not want his identity known if it meant the possibility of exposing him as a smuggler. This was of course his first time transporting goods off-world illegally, but Inara relayed that the man had always been a bit paranoid. So, with one last warning to be careful, Zoë watched as the other woman's shuttle flew out of sight.

She returned in an hour's time, looking slightly flustered but with the goods and co-ordinates to the drop off. She even had a tiny bottle of medicine that she quickly gave to Simon.

"The client," she said, not looking at the captain, "he recommended it after I told him about Mal's condition. He said he'd seen two similar cases before and this had cleared it up within a few days."

"I- well thank you," the young doctor stammered. "But, what is it?"

Inara placed her hand on his elbow and steered him out of the infirmary.

"I don't know exactly," she said in a low voice so that Mal would not overhear. "But of the two cases, he said only one of the patients had lived. The other had not been administered the medication on time."

Simon's pale face whitened further. "I-I just don't want to give him something without knowing what effect, if…if adverse, it may have on him."

"But isn't it worth trying?" She was pleading now, Atherton's voice echoing in her head as he listed off what would happen if the medicine was not given to Mal in the next few days.

"I suppose…its j-just-"

"Simon, please…"

"Alright," he sighed. "But you're sure this man knew what he was talking about?"

She nodded and as Simon returned to Mal's side, she drew a breath and whispered, "I sure as hell hope so."

* * *

"The ship leaves port tomorrow."

"And you?"

"-will be on your estate by morning."

"Good," Atherton's sneer sickened her. "And the pirate lives, I presume? Have I not held up my end of the deal?"

"Yes," she kept it short; she did not want this scum knowing that Mal was growing healthier by the hour. It meant he had won. Because, for Atherton, the prize wasn't only Inara, it was the knowledge that Mal was alive and healthy and fully aware of the fact that he had lost her.

He gave her that sneer and disappeared off the cortex.

You can run, a voice in her head said. Run away and never see Atherton Wing's face ever again. But she knew she couldn't. She had been forced to sign the contract that bound her to him exclusively before he would hand over the antidote. If she ran now he would have the Guild on her tail, as well as the Alliance. And if it had been so easy to poison Mal the first time than Atherton would be able to do it again, no matter how careful they were. It was one thing to house two fugitives, but three? Inara's hand strayed to her left wrist where his grip had left her bruised. Atherton was an animal, that was true enough, but now Mal was healing.

She wondered if anyone would suspect something after she left; if they would connect the mysterious client to her absence. Atherton's plan had been a clever one. He had connections on one of the outer rim planets, and had been planning on sending the medication over regardless. Not that he was by any means a noble man; Inara was certain that his buyer had probably gotten himself into a large amount of debt by asking for the drugs. It was the perfect cover story to hide Inara's intentions and Atherton's plan. It was really only a matter of the crew figuring it all out. They might, but after she did what was she was about to do Inara doubted any of them would come running for her, especially Mal.

She had to be cruel. She had to be unkind. If she was anything else, he might come after her and that was not an option. He had barely gotten away with his life the last time he and Atherton had faced one another, she knew if it happened again he wouldn't be so lucky.

She waited until the crew had all gone to bed. Kaylee was the last to go, having been sitting with the captain for the past hour or so.

"Oh hey, Inara," the younger girl smiled, stifling a yawn as they met just outside the infirmary door. "Just say'n goodnight to the Cap'n, huh?"

She had a knowing grin creeping at the corners of her mouth and Inara's stomach plummeted. She wasn't just leaving Mal; she was leaving the entire crew. She forced herself to smile back and bid the mechanic goodnight.

"Hey," Mal greeted her, still in obvious pain but clearly getting better.

He raised a hand to indicate for her to take it but she stayed near the door, knowing that if she got close to him she would change her mind.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. "What happened?"

"I'm leaving."

The words hung in the air like a heavy, unpleasant mist.

"What?" he didn't get it, or perhaps he did but his mind wouldn't allow him to completely comprehend it.

"Tomorrow," she said, not allowing any emotion to reveal itself as she spoke. "Atherton Wing has reinstated his previous offer of a life as his personal Companion. I've accepted."

Mal was struggling with this information. "But…why…when?"

"He's been rather persistent over the past week. He has assured me that he is sincere with his apology in regards to what happened between you two and-"

"Inara…"

He sounded so disbelieving that she couldn't bear to look at him. Instead she smoothed down the folds in her dress and stared out the window into the common area.

"What…what about _us_?"

She forced herself to look at him. "The sex? It was just sex Mal. It's what I do."

"Not with me you don't," his voice was gruff yet somewhat pleading.

"I admit that at first I was adamant in my wish not to service any of Serenity's crew, but…"

What was she suppose to say?

"But what?" he was angry now.

"It wasn't love, Mal..."

Being a trained Companion, Inara was a good actress. She could make men and woman believe she was in love with them, and could just as easily send them on their way. But being unkind was not a usual trait for a Companion, and so she forced her expression into the cold one she had so often used on Mal before, and stared him down.

"Just sex…"

He looked away from her then, making a sort of choking sound. Inara could see that his hands were balled into fists to the point where his knuckles were ghostly white.

She turned and left.

* * *

River lay in her bed, listening as Mal grunted and swore, pushing him self out of the infirmary and past her room.

"Puppets on strings…puppets that are made of glass. And when the strings are too tight they'll crack. They'll shatter and no one will be there to pick up the pieces," she said to herself.

She sat up and lightly slid out of bed and out of her room. Silently she followed the Captain's footsteps as he clamoured down the ladder to his bunk and began to bang around. When he came back up, his fists full of credits; he came face to face with River.

"I don't have time for you," he growled.

"The sands are sliding," she told him, he needed to know, "sliding like poisons down your throat…down the throat of the hour glass…The sands are running out."

There was a long pause during which Mal just stared at her.

And then he walked away.

* * *

"Is this what it takes?" Mal shouted, tears welling in his eyes. He shoved the money at her chest. "Is this what it takes to be with you? To have _been_ with you?"

She just stood there, looking past him.

He had come barging into her shuttle, still weak and looking furious. Inara wondered if he might shoot her, he was so angry. She wondered if the feeling in her chest was saying that she _wanted_ him to. She let the credits fall to the floor and tried to discipline her expression into that of stone.

"Oh, that's right! It's not just money is it? It's the status, the title, the gifts!"

She turned away and continued to pack, but he grabbed her arm and whirled her around.

"WHY?" he could barely control the anger, the hurt, and the despair. It was rushing out of him and now he was crying openly, backing away from her as if being too close would _contaminate_ him; as though her deceitfulness was a disease. "I LOVED YOU! THAT'S SOMETHING THAT EVEN ALL THE MONEY IN THE GORRAM 'VERSE COULD NEVER BUY! WHY HIM? WHY CHOOSE HIM OVER ME?"

Inara took a deep breath and finally looked at him. She had a look in her eyes that he didn't recognize. "Mal, ours has always been a strictly business arrangement. Whatever pretences you had about the nights we-"

He made a noise, like a heartless laugh or a retch, and she stopped. He was leaning against the wall, holding onto it as if to keep from collapsing.

"_Pretences_…?"

"Well, what else could it have been other than sex?" She was cold, colder than usual. "Did you honestly think that I could love you?"

The harshness with which she said all this was met with a cold and empty silence. He wasn't looking at her; instead his gaze was fixed on her bed. This seemed to pain him- plaguing his mind with memories.

"I want you off my boat," he said to her gruffly. He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes and took one more shuddered and strained breath before straightening up. He stood now, no longer supported by Serenity's walls, and looked at her with the hooded expression she had seen too often. "I want you _gone_."

He left her shuttle then, where she began to sob. There was no coming back from this, she knew; never.

* * *

A\N: Aaaaand REVIEW! There shall be more later on if people click that little button below:)


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